Writer's block

This post was supposed to be published last Sunday, but I decided to wait since I had the privilege of making a little mention.

A/N: Don't take what I wrote too seriously, I wrote it for myself before to anyone else, so if you feel scolded... Well… maybe it's because you've been through the same thing, but it's not because I want you to feel bad! On the contrary, I hope that if you feel identified you can find a little hope in my chaotic words ;)

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Writer’s block.

We've all been there, haven't we?

That dark and desperate place, where you don't know what's around you, there's no floor or ceiling, just an immense darkness that has no shape or sound; There is no smell, no clue to show you the way to or from there. Some of us get depressed, some of us get angry, some of us just stop feeling the taste of life, but we've all been in that place that feels like a tunnel with no way out, a bottomless pit.

I don't want to add to the list of the thousand help materials another cold article with motivational quotes and informative capsules, there is already a lot of that and, if what you are looking for is a list of precise tips, perhaps I can put one together later. But today I want to talk about something different, something that has been going around in my head for the last few weeks; Today I want to be a writer speaking from the depths of a writer's block, I want to speak on behalf of writers and not to writers, as if I had never been there. I warn you that it will be a bit long, but I hope it is worth your time.

First, I'd like to say that writing about writer's block while suffering from writer's block is one of the most contradictory things you'll ever hear, right? It seems so, but it's not as bad as it sounds. A few days ago I was talking to an older friend about this very thing and he said "no kidding, some of the best plays have been written from that desperate place." I think he's right because when we have writer's block we have a feeling of despair, and when you write, no matter what kind of literary genre you're using to express yourself, you need an emotion to hold on to. For example, this excerpt from Aaron Ozni’s poem:

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¹«Tick tick tock tock goes the clock.

Sitting here with severe writer's block.

Words are frozen solid like a rock.

Oh to be free from this crippling written headlock.»

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He had writer's block and yet he managed to capture in a few lines what it is like to be aware of the painful passage of time without being able to do anything. And that was because, even though things were going wrong, he decided to ignore his fears and hold on to what he was feeling. You don't need to be an expert or a celebrity to achieve great things, just a little grit and something to hold on to.

Writing about writer's block while you have it isn't as incoherent as it sounds, because that's where the famous "write even if you can't, just a paragraph, a line, a word" comes in. What this quote refers to is that you express what you are feeling at that moment, and if what you feel is frustration because you cannot write about what you want, why not write about what you feel? The question probably won't be solved right away, you may have to write twenty essays about your frustration before you move forward with your novels, but I can assure you that at least you'll get rid of what's holding your ideas and the knot in your head will disappear. Maybe not to write the next chapter, but to avoid having that discomfort in your chest that is useless for the sake of us. Are you afraid to write about writer's block while you're in it because it sounds ridiculous? Don't think, just do it, because not only will it help you but more importantly, you will help others. Just like «Writer's block Tick Tock» poem helped me get a little hopeful and finish writing this article... While I have writer's block.

But what writer's block is?

The image at the beginning explains that writer's block is when your imaginary friends decide not to talk to you, and it's true, but do you talk to them? How can I expect them to talk to me if I don't provide them topics to talk about? To that character who likes to play the violin, give him music themes, make sure to feed his passion for the violin and its sweet swaying. Take that character who likes nature for a walk and make him realize all the details that may be in the creation. That character who hates cleaning, make him clean. He's going to hate you for forcing him to do something he doesn't like, but at least he'll talk to you, and then you'll be able to talk about that hate. To that character whose blood boils because of injustices, make him live and soak up as many injustices as you can. He will get frustrated, angry and will cry, perhaps, but I am sure that you will know how to give him the tools to overcome all those injustices. If my characters don't talk to me, it's my fault and no one else's.

My characters are alive because I'm alive, they live inside me, but they're asleep, and I have to wake them up because, otherwise, no one else will. When I talk about making your characters live experiences, I don't mean that you imagine them doing it, but rather that you literally go out there, leave your comfort zone, and live those experiences. The more you live, the more authentic and human your characters will be.

Does that mean I'm going to take violin lessons? Well... no. I mean, if you want to and can do it, why not? But if not, then use other methods. Listen to Vivaldi or covers of your favorite songs, go to a music store and study the shape of a violin, ask questions to the seller; Watch violin-themed movies, read novels about violinists, get a small information booklet about the different types of violins, how they work, and what they are used for. What I mean, is that you get lost in your character's world as much as you can, the other pieces will fall into place by themselves.

On the other hand, as someone recently said here on Substack, writing is supposed to be fun. I haven't had fun writing in the last two or three years, and it's a dangerously poisonous cycle. I'm not going to tell you now how I fell into that depressing pit because then I would never finish this article, but I will talk about why it happened.

I don't remember either the book or the author in this moment, but a few months ago I read somewhere a preface in which the author recounted how, as a child, he went to his grandfather and told him that he was bored. A little rough but very wisely his grandfather replied: "You have no right to complain, if you are bored it is your fault. We are responsible for our own entertainment." Oh, what accurate and wise words. I think it also applies to my writing, and not only when I'm writing but also when I'm not, such as when having breakfast with my family, washing dishes, going out to the general store, at studying, etc., etc. Having fun in real life is very easy, actually, when you are surrounded by so many good things and people who make you laugh. Why do I say that having fun in other areas of our lives affects our writing? Because I think writer's block and insomnia have more than one thing in common.

There are two types of insomnia, insomnia caused by stress and insomnia caused by creativity. I don't need to tell you which one is the best for you to know, right? When you have insomnia due to stress, you toss and turn in bed, over and over again, your mind feels heavy; Your mind reproduces the same problem endlessly, trying to find the solution by means of a lot of thinking. The next morning, after a sleepless night, you wake up tired, discouraged, without physical and emotional strength, with huge dark circles under your eyes and without having achieved anything.

When you have creative insomnia, you might stay up all night, creating new things in your mind, on paper, on a canvas, with the strings of a guitar, with a bit of flour and some eggs, with sticky clay; The dawn would come and you wouldn't even notice, right? Maybe you didn't get enough sleep, or even not at all, but even if your body is tired there is something refreshing about having created something, that our cheerful spirit, somehow, manages to relieve the fatigued state of the body. And when we see the fruit of our labor, when we see the good effect it has on others, we know that it was worth every minute we stole from sleep.

I think something similar happens with writer's block. There are two types, one in which ideas get stuck in our thoughts because we are distressed, afflicted, oppressed; And then there's the other kind of blockage, where we have all the energy and inspiration, but we lack enough information because we've already finished the one we had or because we're trying to convince ourselves that it's not the time to empty our creative writing.

I also think that just as writer's block is similar to insomnia in how it is provoked, I think the solution is pretty much the same. Insomnia, contrary to what many might think, is not avoided with numbing pills or relaxing teas, it is not something that you undo at the moment it occurs, but it is the result of what you do throughout the day. A healthy life usually leads to a peaceful and revitalizing sleep. But that's for insomnia and I didn't come to teach nutrition or biology, so now I'm going with the types of blockage.

Maybe we have the energy and inspiration to write, but then we sit down and nothing happens. As with creative insomnia, it could be because we are not giving our mind the opportunity to continue creating, it could be that if we have written a lot for a constant time we have finished all our ideas in one sitting. This type of blockage is the easiest to fix, because although some of us have a harder time believing it, all we have to do is give our mind a break. Too much of one thing is bad for the soul, even the good things. That's why taking breaks from writing is healthy, but you also don't have to make the mistake of doing nothing else. When you're not writing, find another creative means of entertaining your mind, keeping it alive and busy. When it's time, you'll be writing again with new strength and bright ideas.

Stress blockage... well, that is the most complex and difficult to combat.

Perhaps, if ideas are stagnant, it's because something is wrong with my life. I used to think that when I couldn't write it was because something was wrong with my writing, my routine, my experience, where I was writing or something like that, so I always tried to look for the problem in that area. But what if the real problem isn't there? At least in my recent experience, my writer's block is actually not because of how I write but because something has been wrong with my life for too long.

And truth be told, I think that's why, at the end of the day, nothing I've said before is of any value if we're not on the right side, if we're trying to fix the wrong mistake.

At this point in the game I have already told several people about my writer's block and my frustration in trying to fight it, but until now I think I had not seen things so clearly. Since September I fell into a depression that sank more things into my life than just my writing, and since then I have attributed it to something being wrong with me, in my routine, in my approach, in my discipline and basically any scenario in which I was the cause of all my misfortunes. But then, a few days ago, I was reminded of Ephesians 6's warning about man's true enemy. What if all this time I've been fighting the wrong "person"? What if I'm not the real problem?

I know there are many things going wrong in my life that I need to change, but somehow I've always felt like I was looking for the wrong problem in the wrong place. Maybe it's not entirely something I was doing, but something someone else was doing to me. At first it sounds even ridiculous, but then I remembered that the devil is here to steal, kill and destroy. Why would he want me to stop writing? Because he knows that I have the potential to write something that will make him lose the battle, because he knows that as long as I know that God is on my side there is nothing and no one that can stop me.

The enemy knows this, and that's why his only way to cause damage is to send distractions into a trap made especially for you. For the fiftieth time in my short life, I fell. This time to extinguish a talent that God gifted me for the greatness of His name, but at the end of the day it is always about the same goal, which is to turn away from our Heavenly Father if we are His children. And if we are not, then to prevent us from believing in Him as our only Lord and Savior.

I am more and more convinced that the Enemy or one of his henchmen has been influencing my writer's block, it cannot be something merely human because if so, the problem would be easy to fix. The Enemy has been deceiving me, making me believe that the problem was me, that I am incapable of achieving anything, that my words are worthless; He made me believe that giving up isn't such a bad idea, and now I realize how absurd it was to believe it. Because that's one of his most typical lies: 1) that you're worthless, 2) that giving up is a good option. The only person to fall to our knees and surrender to is God. Apart from Him, we should not surrender to anyone else. And much less should we give up on things that he entrusted to us and in which he has already won. Because whatever battles we could face, He has already overcome them all for us, and now all we have to do is believe it and follow His way.

I had a beautiful relationship with my Lord, he was the light of my days and the balm to the wounds of my soul, but I got distracted and let the thief steal that. I let it destroy my friendship with Jesus Christ and let it murder a part of me, the one I have missed so much for years. The innocent, the pure, the jovial and smiling girl who played elves in the backyard while marveling at the magnificence of creation. I miss her so much, and I want her back.

Writer's block is more complex than many of us could imagine, it is a spider's web interwoven with many threads that come and go, connected to each other. But with the right purposes, with the necessary people in our lives, and above all, the Lord's guidance, it is possible to get out of there. It is even possible not to fall into it because, isn't it possible for God to achieve anything? If God is with us, who is against us? I've been there, blind, lost, and if I could find my way back as many others, why couldn't you too?

I know it's not easy. I know it costs a lot, so I want to thank all the Christian writers who have not given up. To you, for fighting day after day against the Thief who is only waiting for the first moment of weakness to take everything. The world needs more children of God willing to fight the good fight, if not us, who will?

Behind the letters, a girl 🌹

P. S. Pardon me if you found any typos or nonsense. I slept for about two hours or so last night... so yeah, my mind is not at its best right now.

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Random tip: Toothpaste? Nope, try instead with coconut oil. And, if you're good at overcoming a taste that's not quite good, mix 1 tablespoon of baking soda with 1 cup of coconut oil, store it in a jar, and make more when it's over. Your family and friends will probably look at you like you're going crazy, but it's worth it! 👍🏻😁👍🏻

1. You can find Aaron Ozni’s full poem right here! Trust me, it is worth your time ;)